I'm sorry, 2089, or Six Months to Live

ETA: Thanks to a comment from Courtney, I did a little digging and found out this book was actually published in 1985, not 1995, which must have been the date of one of the reissues. It is bizarrely difficult tracking down publication dates to these books, believe it or not!

Six Months to Live (published 1985) is the first book in the Dawn Rochelle series, which of course is near and dear to my heart as it's the namesake of my roommate Dawn Rochelle! For some reason, I was convinced the Dawn Rochelle series was going to be SUPER AWESOME AND FANTASTICAL. Like, let's be real here; if I didn't still have some sick, twisted desire to read about sick kids and the minutiae of their treatments, I wouldn't be writing this blog. Also, bear in mind, Six Months to Live was voted into a time capsule to be opened in year 2089! Only a quality work of literature could achieve such an honor, right?

Will my wish be granted? Will the Dawn Rochelle series be all I dreamed of? Let's find out!

Lurlene's publishers/marketing department have this to say:

When 13-year-old Dawn Rochelle is diagnosed with leukemia, she's scared. While in the hospital undergoing chemotherapy, Dawn meets Sandy, who also has cancer. Dawn and Sandy battle the disease together, and remain best friends even after they both go into remission and return home. But when Sandy gets sick again, Dawn wonders what the future holds both for Sandy and herself.

Sure then!

ETA: In my search for the original publication date, I ran across the ACTUAL original cover, which is pretty fantastic:


If that girl's thirteen, so am I.

Here's one older cover:


Dawn Rochelle's cute! So is her teddy bear! She seems troubled, probably due to her leukemia, so I'll give her a break there.

The cover's been updated a million times. There's this:


Classier, for sure! Not sure this girl passes for thirteen as much as our first dear Dawn Rochelle though.

There's also this one:


You guys, look, now it's LURLENE McDANIEL'S SIX MONTHS TO LIVE. Totes like Oprah Winfrey's Thisever or Tyler Perry's Thatever. Really, Lurlene has risen to the ranks of Oprah freaking Winfrey, and Tyler freaking Perry? I'm not entirely sure, Lurlene, I'm not sure at all.

My copy of this book is actually in a compiled volume of the first four Dawn Rochelle books. I guess that's a spoiler that Dawn Rochelle stays alive for awhile! GO DAWN ROCHELLE! Anyways:


So basically it's the first cover with some Photoshopping. I have no idea, honestly, who that dude is, or why his chest upwards has materialized near our dear Dawn Rochelle. Maybe that tree will become significant? Also I have absolutely NO CLUE what that thing at the bottom is. Was someone building a fence and got confused? What does THAT have to do with leukemia? Or months? Or teddy bears? TELL ME PLEASE.

So, believe it or not, this is how the book opens:

When Dawn Rochelle was thirteen years old, they [they who?] told her she had cancer. She sat in her doctor's office, clutching the hand of her mother, who sat clutching the hand of her father, and stared at the familiar face of Dr. Galland with disbelief.

That is QUITE an opener!

Dr. Galland says this is the most common form of cancer among kids (I looked it up, he's right!), and Dawn Rochelle thinks:

A kid! That's what I am, Dawn thought. [All kids totes talk like this too.] She was a kid, just two months over her thirteenth birthday... a seventh grader... cheerleader for Adams Junior High... daughter of Pete and Meggie Rochelle [oh, wait, Rochelle is her last name? Whatever, I'm still calling her Dawn Rochelle]... kid sister of eighteen-year-old Rob Rochelle [firstly, Rob Rochelle is a freaking amazing name, and secondly, this is some smooth exposition!]... super fan of Michael Jackson [before you guys get all WELL THIS BOOK IS FROM THE PAST remember that it was published in nineteen-fucking-ninety-five and there is NO EXCUSE for a thirteen-year-old to be a SUPER FAN of Michael Jackson OH MY GOD LURLENE NO EXCUSE ETA: okay, clearly, this book was published in 1985, so I can't mock Dawn Rochelle for her super fandom. It's still a weird way to define oneself, yeah?]... collector of teddy bears... a resident of Columbus, Ohio... and now, a victim of cancer.

There is absolutely nothing about that paragraph that isn't amazing. NOTHING.

Dawn Rochelle's parents are all WTF SECOND OPINION PLEASE which, okay, I totally get denial, and I get being just fucking knocked on your ass by scary medical news regarding a family member, I've been there, but soooo many parents in the Lurleneverse just flat-out don't believe doctors, even when their kids are covered with bruises or have unexplained broken bones, or are so tired it's tough getting up at 4 a.m. Seriously, I really believe if I brought my hypothetical kid in with those symptoms and got the diagnosis, I'd hate it, but I'd buy it. Right? What about you guys? Am I just too fully immersed in the Lurleneverse?

Dawn Rochelle and her parents go home to pack for her stay in the hospital. Man, that's gotta be depressing! Dawn Rochelle reflects on telling everyone:

Rob... Dawn pictured her brother. He was so big and broad across his shoulders.

Uh, so I've seen a picture of Lurlene and her brother:


Were they, like, on a date here? Does she think that's normal? Is this why she always writes girls lusting over their brothers? Listen, I have a brother, and I don't sit around and think about his shoulders EVER. This is SO NOT OKAY LURLENE. We really need to have a talk.

When Dawn Rochelle gets to the hospital, you guys are NOT going to believe this, her parents are all, "so what would happen if we just took Dawn Rochelle home instead?" and the oncologist, Dr. Sinclair, is all UM THE FUCK YOU TERRIBLE PARENTS SHE WOULD DIE!!!! Do you guys want to know more about Dr. Sinclair? Too bad:

Dr. Sinclair hated leukemia. Like a person hates evil, he hated the disease.

Um. That's weird. Right? If your arch-enemy is A DISEASE, that's kind of creepy. Even if you're a doctor.

So Dawn Rochelle settles in at the hospital and meets her nurse, Fredia. Fredia, really? Fredia tells Dawn Rochelle she's gonna LOVE her roommate, Sandy! Okay, Fredia, I will take you at your word! I always trust a Fredia!

Of course the staff is taking lots of blood from Dawn Rochelle so further tests can be run, but Dawn Rochelle isn't lovin' that!:

Vampires! she thought. The place seemed full of vampires.

Yes, Dawn Rochelle, after they draw out your blood WITH A NEEDLE they take it elsewhere and DRINK IT. Or maybe it's that whole leukemia thing they told you about? I dunno, the vampire explanation seems waaaaaaay more likely.

Sandy's from West Virginia, so she calls her dad Pa. Apparently Lurlene doesn't understand the difference between West Virginia and the past. Pa was so upset when the testing/treatment of Sandy hurt her so much that he nearly took her out of the hospital! Man, parents are so frickin' dumb in the Lurleneverse. I mean, it would totes suck to see your kid hurting, but GEEZ.

So a psychiatrist comes by to teach Dawn Rochelle imaging techniques, but at first she is not hip to that!:

A shrink! Dawn thought. I'm not crazy. I don't need a head doctor!

Maybe it's just all my hours logged with trusted mental health professionals, but if I'd just gotten diagnosed with a potentially-fatal illness and a psychiatrist wandered in, I think I'd grasp the notion that they just might be there to help me deal with that. Oh, Dawn Rochelle!

Since Dawn Rochelle is totes into teddy bears, she imagines an army of them fighting off the cancer cells. I approve of this imaging technique, Dawn Rochelle! Sounds cute.

Some of Dawn Rochelle's cheerleader friends come to visit. They are totes realistic, of course:

"Gee... cancer.... What a rotten deal!"

Gee, you think?

After the cheerleaders go, Sandy and Dawn Rochelle bond over the fact that people from their "old life" no longer really understand them. It's interesting, in some of Lurlene's books, friends stick by and totally help the patient deal, and in some, they're totes isolated. Generally, this has to do with whoever Lurlene wants us to root for to help our protag learn something important. Or something. I'm sure a lot of times kids' friends can't deal with someone they know having cancer. Man, that'd suck! Poor Dawn Rochelle. Anyways, the girls get to talkin' 'bout boys, as girls often do:

"He... he kissed me once," Sandy added in a soft whisper. "It was real sweet, like he really meant it."

LIKE HE REALLY MEANT IT! What does that MEAN? Sandy, if I were there, I'd make you give me more details.

Sandy's parents come to visit, and of course they are written with painstaking cultural sensitivity. I hope you guys aren't from West Virginia!:

"How's my darlin'?" Mr. Chandler's voice boomed from the doorway of their hospital room. Sandy squealed with delight and flung her arms open to him.

"Sandy's told me about you," he told Dawn, who openly stared at him. [Nice, D.R., nice.] "My, my, you're hardly bigger than a June bug," he said, his accent causing her to smile shyly.

He eyed both of the girls critically. "They feedin' you girls proper? Neither of you look like you've had a decent meal in a month of Sundays."

. . .

His lips pressed together. Dawn got the feeling that under his cheerful words [How cheerful was that shit about a month of Sundays?] and broad smile, Mr. Chandler was very angry about Sandy being sick.

So here's the thing. I've noticed in the majority of the Lurleneverse, men get ANGRY about their kids' illnesses. Like, I'm not saying fathers don't. But mothers do too. And fathers cry and fall into denial, just like mothers. Except in the Lurleneverse! Fathers just get angry and do things like SHAKE WITH ANGER, and girls have to lie to their fathers and brothers about how much stuff hurts so they don't tear apart medical professionals. Ugh. I hate all sexism, but especially when it comes from ladies. Knock it off, ladies!

To get herself through the side effects of her chemo, Dawn Rochelle keeps telling herself, "the drugs are my friends!" Oh noes, will chemo be a gateway drug to, like, heroin? Be careful, Dawn Rochelle!!

You guys, seriously, I just cannot get over this prose:

How cruel it was to go bald at thirteen! How awful it was to be sick all the time from the effects of the chemotheraphy! How terrible it was to be tired and depressed, have sores in your mouth, bruises all over your body and to be so thin you could count your own ribs!

Sandy achieves remission (go Sandy!) so Dawn Rochelle's all alone and without her new BFF. Sadness! Isn't leukemia shitty enough? Luckily, it doesn't take much longer for Dawn Rochelle to achieve remission as well! Hmmm, does it synch up like your and your roommate's periods?

"I'm really going home!" To herself, she added, "Ready or not, World, here I come!"

Please tell me A) if there are any kids who really say shit like this, and B) why the hell world is capitalized!

Dawn Rochelle and Sandy go off to cancer camp together, woo hoo! The camp puts on a little show about the history of the land and lake, where "Indians" row across in a canoe. Um, Lurlene, didn't you get the memo? Native Americans. Say it with me. Thanks.

Of course there are hot boys at the camp; it wouldn't be camp without 'em!

Dawn kept noticing the way the two boys kept looking at her and Sandy. It made her feel feminine and exciting.

Feminine AND exciting, you guys.

The boys are named Mike and Greg. Greg is totes into Dawn Rochelle, while Mike is into Sandy. It's always good when that works out. Mike had bone cancer, so he is missing a leg, and he's all embarrassed about swimmin'! Luckily Sandy sets him straight. Aw, man, seriously, Mike, if you don't feel comfortable swimming with one leg at a cancer camp, you're going to need a lot of therapy! Poor Mike.

According to Dawn Rochelle:

Greg Buchannan became friend, beau, and big brother to Dawn. Mike became the same to Sandy.

WHAT IS WITH THIS BROTHER/BOYFRIEND CROSSOVER RELATIONSHIP? I am seriously so uncomfortable. I have never, ever dated a dude I would have ALSO considered an older brother. GROSS. Seriously, does Lurlene think this is normal? I'm all wigged out.

Dawn Rochelle goes home from camp, and even starts school in the fall! Go D.R.! Of course it's weird and awkward, and then because life doesn't suck enough as it is, she gets a letter from Sandy letting her know she's had a relapse. Aw, poor Sandy! Of course her daddy is a mess, and wants to take her to some clinic in Mexico. Another letter arrives soon, letting Dawn Rochelle know Sandy indeed IS in Mexico. Want to hear about her Mexican doctor? Who's got their money on him not being a cliche?:

My doctor is Dr. Sanchez. He's a nice little man with a mustache. His accent is soft and cute. [Cute??] I think his clinic is real nice, too. It's light and airy with red tiles and murals all over the place. There's a real nice garden with fountains, cactus and strange looking trees.

Do you guys think Sandy's dad actually took her to Mexico or Chevy's FreshMex?

Before long, Dawn Rochelle gets a telegram from Sandy's parents. Sandy died! Stop. I guess Mexico and West Virginia don't have phones! Stop.

Then the cute boy is nice to Dawn Rochelle at school, and life is somewhat better. I'd laugh, but when you're in junior high, attention from a cute boy can lift your spirits really high. Oh, hell, what am I talking about? It'd still lift my spirits damn high!

So that's the book. Yeah! That's it! You want to know the best thing about this whole book? AT NO TIME DOES ANYONE TELL DAWN ROCHELLE SHE HAS SIX MONTHS TO LIVE! Why is it the title?

Also, from that interview I just posted about:

BP: One of your books, Six Months to Live, has been placed in a time capsule at the Library of Congress, to be opened in the year 2089. How did that come about?
LM: That book got put in the time capsule because it was nominated by children from all over the country. Pizza Hut sponsors a reading program: Reading is Funda-mental. This particular year, they invited children to nominate their favorite books and write an essay why. They were going to take the top letter from each state and put it in the time capsule. They notified me that Six Months had been the most nominated book in the competition. It had won in three states. The grand prize letter was from South Carolina.

BP: Why that title versus any of your others?
LM: I've often wondered what is behind the phenomenon of this book as opposed to other books. It's one of the first serious books they run across after they've exceeded the Babysitter's Club. They're walking through the book fair and see Six Months to Live. It's a great title, you gotta admit. They just are mesmerized that a 13-year-old girl who is normal, just like them, could get leukemia.

I'd hate on the title a lot less IF IT WERE EVEN TRUE.

There are four more books in the Dawn Rochelle series, so we all know what that means! RELAPSES AHOY!

Emotional abuse will kill you, just not how you think, or Telling Christina Goodbye

I always feel like it's bad news for a recap when I sort of shrug and say "oh I guess that wasn't so bad!" And it's with this confession I bring you Telling Christina Goodbye.

What's it about, you ask? Okay, actually, you didn't ask that. You are currently assuming it's about telling someone named Christina goodbye. People, you would be CORRECT! But let's dive a little deeper!:

Trisha Thompson and her best friend Christina are having a great senior year. Trisha and her boyfriend, Cody, are making plans to attend Indiana University together in the fall, while Christina has already received a scholarship to the University of Vermont. Everything would be perfect if only Trisha got along with Christina's controlling boyfriend Tucker, who is trying to convince Christina not to go away for college. But suddenly their lives change one night when Tucker is driving the four home from an away basketball game. When his car hits a patch of black ice and overturns, Tucker walks away with barely a scratch, but Trisha is injured, Cody is in a coma, and Christina is dead. Those left behind must learn that it takes time for their scars - both visible and not - to heal. And they must find the courage to move on with their lives.

You know, between that and the cover...:


Thanks, back-cover-copywriter! Thank you cover designer! Now I already know the plot of HALF THE BOOK. I mean, I guess the second you start reading, with a title like Telling Christina Goodbye, once you meet a character named Christina you're picturing death over her shoulder. So basically everyone involved at this stage of the game should have been fired.

This isn't to say that one is ever really THAT surprised getting immersed in the Lurleneverse. You know there's gonna be death or at least severe injury/disease. Yeah? But that's more like knowing if you pick up a romance novel there's gonna be some kissing, a plot contrivance to separate our lovers, and then ANOTHER plot contrivance to bring them back. Wouldn't the equivalent be a book called Getting Engaged to Bob Loblaw where the back-cover copy listed exactly the steps to Bob Loblaw gettin' down on one knee and pulling out that ring from Jared? Sure, that was to be expected BUT DID YOU HAVE TO LAY IT ALL OUT FOR US GEEEEEEZ.

Okay, back in the Lurleneverse, we meet Trisha and her best friend Christina, both high school seniors. Oooh, Christina, despite your young age, I'm worried about your fate! Anyways, Christina is locked in a bathroom stall crying about her dumbass of a boyfriend Tucker. I HATE TUCKER!!! See, these kids live in the middle of nowhere, Illinois (hey, I used to live near there!), and Christina just got this awwwwesome scholarship to the U of Vermont. Her and her parents and Trisha are jazzed. Good for you, Christina! I was so friggin' envious of all the kids like you who got those kind of deals while I was working at TJ Maxx to put myself through community college.

So what's the problem? Christina's asshole boyfriend WHO SHE'S BEEN SEEING SINCE EIGHTH GRADE totes DOES NOT APPROVE. He says she has to stay near him. Why can't he just go with her? Well, Tucker gets shit grades so he can only go to a nearby crap school. He thinks it's fair for Christina to go to a shit school to.

Okay so I know I rag on Lurlene a lot for her supposed lady-hatred demonstrated by, ya know, writing how working mommies are the devil's handmaidens, but I love that this is totally not approved of! Tucker is shown to be an asshole just during this short little conversation, and Trisha's disapproval speaks for all of us, yeah? Good work, Lurlene, pushy dudes who inflict emotional abuse are NOT COOL.

Christina is all "WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL BE DOING BOTH SIDES HAVE COMPELLING ADVANTAGES" and we're all "UH HELLO NO ONE IS A CRAP SCHOOL WITH AN ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND WHILE THE OTHER IS PAID FOR AND AWWWWESOME". God, Trisha, I feel your pain. I don't know how I could reason with this lady! Haven't we all had friends with douchey boys? At the end of the day it just sucks.

Trisha is at her little brother Charlie's basketball practice when stupid Tucker sits down next to her. GODDAMN TUCKER! He's all "HEY I GUESS YOU DON'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH" and Trisha is all "uhhh YEAH" and I seriously hate Tucker so much already! I'm just relieved that for once I'm SUPPOSED to! I'm not saying Lurlene is some beacon of revealing truths about gender relations in our culture but at least she recognizes abuse when she sees (writes?) it.

So we meet Trisha's boyfriend Cody, who I guess is okay. Lurlene couldn't write a realistic high school boyfriend if one came up and bit her on the ass, but he's fine. God, you guys, I am so sorry for that mental picture. I myself can't shake it, but my pain is your pain, all right? The one thing I don't love about Cody is he is all about excusing Tucker's behaviour. Like, he's a much better dude than Tucker (most dudes are) but he doesn't seem to get that crazy jealous and controlling behaviour is NOT okay. It makes you worry, doesn't it?

Also, of course, Trisha and Cody have TOTALLY NORMAL AND REALISTIC couple chats and, like, schticks:

[Cody's] smile lit up his eyes and made them crinkle at the corners. She loved it when he came up behind her in the halls, put his arm around her shoulder, and whispered in her ear, "Who loves you, babe?"

And she'd say, "Have we met?"

And he'd say, "Don't tell me you're spoken for. Am I going to have to take some guy out before we can live happily ever after?"

And she'd say, "No. You're the one I want."

"Forever?"

"Forever."

Gross! Also how many typical high school kids are all hung up on this notion of "forever"? Dudes, you're like seventeen or eighteen; forever is a long-ass time away. Maybe you should go to college and experiment with your sexuality first. Oh, wait, except Trisha and Cody are going to the same nearby state school. I guess it's okay to do that when a big move isn't required? Ugh.

Jackass Tucker shows up at Trisha's house, and he's all I TOTES FIGURED IT OUT BEOTCH CHRISTINA WILL NEVER EVER EVER LEAVE MEEEEEE and he shows her a diamond ring. Yep, that's right, Tucker's gonna propose on Valentine's Day, and of course since Christina has no backbone where Tucker's concerned, she's gonna say yes, and there goes her scholarship and good education. GodDAMN.

So the four kids all double-date to an away game (Christina used to be a cheerleader but she quit right after football season SHE SAID to focus on her studies but Trisha knows it's because Tucker didn't like other dudes "ogling" Christina in her cheer gear OH SHUT UPPP TUCKER YOU ARE SO ONE-DIMENSIONAL AND CLICHED). Of course some guy Christina IS FRIENDS WITH does the unthinkable and TALKS TO HER and of course this is a guy Tucker's already WARNED so he beats down this poor dude's ass. Our foursome leave the game in pissy moods, obviously for different reasons. Tucker's, of course, driving like the jackassy bastard he is, and gets into some sort of road rage regarding some dudes from the rival school. You guys saw the cover so you know how this ends:

CAR CRASH!

Trisha wakes up and she's hurt and bleeding and was thrown from the car. Tucker is there and he seems fine OF COURSE. Some guys have all the luck! He's also lucky because Trisha can't remember any details of the wreck so she's unaware it was his jackassy driving that caused it.

Trisha is airlifted to a hospital, and from the helicopter she sees two bodies lying near the wreck. OH NOES.

She's examined at the hospital (cuts and a sprained knee, nothin' too bad all things considered) and gets some craptastic news: Cody is in a coma, and Christina is DEAD. Oh HELL. Of course, if you looked at the picture on the cover or read the synopsis this DOES NOT SURPRISE YOU.

It's all pretty sad! Cody is at a fancy hospital in Chicago, because they have a super head trauma department, so Trisha can't visit him right away. Boo hoo! And when she does, he's just, ya know, comatose, though at least that gives Lurlene an excuse to squeeze in all this medical knowledge about comas and shit. Lurlene must loooove Wikipedia.

More sad stuff! Trisha goes to Christina's funeral. She's really freaked out about seeing her friend in a casket, as I think most of us would be. Luckily, she gets this bit of comfort:

Panic raced down Trisha's spine. "I--I don't--"

"She looks pretty," Christina's father, Nelson, said. "Don't be alarmed."

WAIT WHAT? Was that actually what Trisha was worried about, that Christina wouldn't be pretty? The hell? Nelson, you're probably not a very good father, are you?

So Trisha goes back to school way earlier than anyone thinks is wise. They ask her to say a few words at a memorial service for Christina, and of course she freaks out and flees the scene - as would most of us, I assume! - and Abby, a girl who is on the yearbook staff with her, comes to get her. Whyyy? Trisha wants to know the same thing:

"And why would you do that?"

"Because I know what you've been going through."

Trisha unlocked the door, threw it open, and glared at Abby. "People say that all the time. But it's a lie! [This is my favorite line right now. It's fun to shout; try it! BUT IT'S A LIE!] Nobody knows how I feel. How could you?"

Whoa, Trisha, way to harsh Abby's mellow. Also WAY TO GUESS INCORRECTLY. Abby knows EXACTLY what you're going through because when she was little, her brother was in a car accident AND DIED. Sorry, Abby!

So Tucker is all up in Trisha's grill about whether or not she exactly remembers the accident. She doesn't! But she knows SOMETHING is up. I started to get the same feeling, in that way that I'd totally read this plotline before... but not in the Lurleneverse. Actually there's a whole plot in a book I loved as a twelve-year-old called Izzy, Willy-Nilly by Cynthia Voigt. In that book, Izzy totes knew a drunk driver was responsible for the car wreck that claimed one of her legs, but the guy and his girlfriend WHO WAS A FRIEND OF HERS put all this pressure on her not to tell. Considering Izzy, Willy-Nilly is the kind of book you just KNOW Lurlene wish she wrote, this feels a little plagiarizy. Sorry to put it out there, I'm just saying. Then again, I guess there are so many post-car wreck scenarios to write about, so maybe it's just an honest overlap. Also, Izzy, Willy-Nilly is an interesting book to reread as an adult. I'm really not sure I recommend it!

So OMG YOU GUYS Cody is awake from his coma!!!!! Unfortunately, he thinks he's in middle school. And that means he doesn't remember Trisha (OR the details of the crash OR that the others in the crash were also his friends) because:

No wonder he didn't remember her. They'd only started dating in high school.

You guys, how weird is that "only"? So because Christina and Tucker got together in eighth grade it was way late in the game to couple up in friggin' HIGH SCHOOL? It's funny because in a lot of Lurlene's books the one thing I can't complain about is that she seems to have a decent grasp on the fact that young kids might know each other for awhile before actually dating or hooking up or whatever, so this seems kind of inconsistent and weird. Alas!

Cody freaks out since he doesn't know Trisha, and she flees in tears. When she gets back from Chicago, Abby comes over to cheer her up. Trisha dishes the full story and this is Abby's response:

"Low blow," Abby said, patting Trisha on the back and handing her a wad of tissue.

LOW BLOW? That doesn't even really make any sense. Thank you for being a friend, Abby.

Cody comes home from the hospital, and Trisha spends time with him, hoping the old Cody will come back. Good ol' Tucker does the same thing, because apparently now he's a good person. Whatever. I hate you, Tucker. He promises to keep visiting Cody:

"Will you come back?" Cody asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"We were friends. I'm not sure I had that many."

"You did," Tucker said. "You were a regular guy. Everyone liked you."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? People like regular guys only? Is that, like, shorter Tucker: you weren't a weirdo freak? Also, godDAMN has Lurlene skillfully captured the way eighteen year old dudes talk to each other.

Christina's mom Julia calls Trisha, and she finds out they're moving. Bad Dad Nelson got a new job, plus they're ready to leave this place behind. Don't blame you guys! Julia suggests to Trisha that she take a few things from Christina's room to remember her by. This part got to me a little, guys, only because, okay, imagine your best friend is dead and her mom is pushing you to take things so you're surrounded by all her crap except you're never seeing her again and, oh, man, did we all just think of the items we'd take? Just me? All right then. Anyways, this awkward exchange occurs:

"I should go. I told Mom I'd be back by lunch."

"Certainly. Of course." Julia didn't move. "May I ask a favor?"

"Anything."

"Would you let me hold you for just a minute?" Tears shimmered on Julia's lashes.

"Hold me? Well, gee, sure."

WELL GEE ALL RIGHT THEN!

Lurlene gives us this great totally meta moment between Trisha and Cody, while they're hanging outside at his place:

"They say this is bad for us," Trisha commented. "That the sun causes skin cancer." [CANCER CANCER CANCER YAAAAY IN A COMA BOOK!]

"I don't care. It feels good, and I'm going stir-crazy being stuck inside the house all the time."

"I don't care either." At the moment, cancer didn't seem like half the threat that everyday life did.

OH MY GOD TRISHA THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE IN THE LURLEVERSE. CANCER IS BASICALLY YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY OMGGGG STOP TAUNTING THE CANCER.

Trisha's life IS getting better, though, despite her obvious impending visit from the cancer gods. She's hanging out a lot with Cody, helping him, and even though he's probably never going to be the old Cody again, he's pretty cool. She takes up Christina's old volunteer position at a nursing home, and she's working hard on the yearbook and hanging out lots with Abby. But:

She even filled out a job application at Home Depot, but her parents had a fit and forbade her to turn it in.

Um, do they understand what Home Depot is? It's not like she went and got a job at Hooters or, I dunno, Hustler or something. What the hell, parents?

So the police investigation ends, and the wreck is declared an accident, not vehicular homicide. Trisha is not thrilled at that news, because that means Tucker's in the clear. But does she actually, deep down, think he's guilty? Or does she just want to blame a jackasshole for the tragedy? DUM DUM DUMMMM!

Cody returns to school, and it's totes rough on him. Oh Cody! Ensuing gossip gave me basically the best example of Lurlene's dialogue trying its hardest to pop with realism and, well, hissing to the ground like a pricked balloon:

When she walked into the bathroom and overheard two junior girls gossiping about it, she glared at them and said, "Don't you two have anything better to talk about?"

One said, "Gee ['gee' again??], we didn't mean anything by it."

"Then shut up about it."

"It's a free country," one girl dared to say. [Oooh! A dare!]

"Then I might just take advantage of my freedom to stick your head down a toilet." [Uh, Trisha, her gossip is covered by free speech. Sticking someone's head in a toilet is NOT free speech nor constitutionally guaranteed.]

The girl's eyes widened [at the lameness of that threat?]. "No need to go postal about it. We were just talking."

So Trisha and Cody go to the prom as a double-date with Abby and her boyfriend. Yay! Trisha and Cody's parents go in together on a fancy limo because they can't stand the thought of the kids not having a driver on a double date. Yeah, can't say I blame you, parents. Luckily this night does NOT end in a car crash! Whew!

In talking to Cody about the car wreck, Trisha has a chilling sensation. She's all, "there were nights when the wind was so cold that my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window. There were days when the sun was so cruel that all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying out forever. IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW!"



Trisha runs to confront Tucker. She accuses him of not being able to pass the other car on the left, so passing it on the right ON THE SHOULDER where he hit black ice and spun out. He's all, shrug, yeah, I know, sucks, right? Tucker's actually confessed this all already, it just doesn't change the fact that it's categorized as an accident, not vehicular homicide, especially once Christina's parents dropped all charges against him. Trisha's all BUT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THEY THINK IT WAS TOTES JUST NORMAL ICE NOT SHOULDER BLACK ICE YOU BASTARD and he's all WHAT WOULD IT CHANGE and Trisha knows basically she just wants everyone to hate Tucker too. Trisha, I feel your pain.

Actually Tucker does tell everyone at school though! Thing is, it actually makes people feel SORRIER for him. Ruh-roh! I kind of liked the way this was handled, actually. The whole book led me to think there was going to be big-ass law drama for Tucker and his stupid ass, but it just sort of fizzled - it pains me to say - much like real life.

So Trisha gets accepted into a good state school, but Cody can't graduate because he missed too much and had trouble catching up once he came back. So Trisha's all, that's fine, I'll stay here and go to the community college next year and take care of you! After the whole thing about Christina giving up the opportunity in Vermont just to stay near Tucker, I thought we were in for a super life lesson about how Trisha needed to go away after all and hopefully Cody would understand. But, nope! That's just fine! And that's how it ends, kids:

She laid her cheek against his shoulder. "I love you, Cody."

He kissed her temple. "And I love you. I may not remember many things from before the accident. I may never remember all of my life from before. Truth is, I don't even try to remember it all anymore. I'm just taking it day by day. And the best part about every day is finding it in you." [Finding WHAT in her? Dirty.]

Goose bumps raced up her arms, and her heart filled to overflowing. [Her heart totally goes to eleven.] "Well, get used to it. I plan to be around for a long, long time."

"Forever?" he asked.

"Forever," she answered.

And there you have it, folks, thus ends our life lessons on how to royally screw up any chance of a functional adult relationship! Oh well. This jaunt through the Lurleneverse gave us more good lessons than bad, only nice mothers, and the stern warning that emotionally abusive assholes are dangerous. I'll take it.

Check your email, or a Rose for Melinda

This was basically the most boring and pointless book I have ever read, which is saying a bit considering:

1. I collect Babysitters Club books
2. I take trips down memory lane all the time only to generally discover I had crap taste as a kid
3. I run this blog and therefore read a ton of Lurlene McDaniel novels on a regular basis

Yet with all that in mind, a Rose for Melinda (published 2002) is the epitome of lame. It is the example for unpublished writers to hold aloft while they take swigs from their bottles of Makers and curse the heavens their quality works aren't published while dreck like this found a publisher as well as shelf-space at Barnes & Noble.

Okay, fine, let's get into it:


Ooh, the titular rose!

Hey, you guys want to know what this is about? Too bad, the publisher was too lazy to write a synopsis. This is all they gave us:

From: Melinda Skye
To: Readers
Subject: Jesse

Hi! I can’t believe it. What a surprise from Jesse. When he got my e-mail about being accepted by the Washington School of Classical Dance’s summer program, he called to congratulate me! I loved hearing his voice. We’ve been friends forever–could it turn into something more?
Melinda


From: Jesse Rose
To: Readers
Subject: Melinda

I couldn’t believe the news. Melinda is so young! How could she be sick? How did she get leukemia? She’s got to get better. She’s got to.
Jesse

Oh, fuck. Did this strike fear in the heart of Ames? Damn straight. I have always hated books told in, you know, any other way but dialogue/narrative. Isn't that NORMAL? Argh. I still remember being a kid and wanting to read every single Beverly Cleary book in existence, but never getting more than a few pages into Dear Mr. Henshaw. Seriously, you guys, if I'd been reading this for ANY OTHER REASON than to recap here, I would have given up, like, one page in. Such is my devotion.

So we open with a bunch of little kid notes back and forth between Jesse and Melinda. So boring. Then it gets kind of creepy! There's A TRANSCRIPT of a VIDEOTAPE backstage at one of Melinda's dance recitals. It seriously felt so Case Designate "Cloverfield" found in US-447.

So basically there are letters from Melinda, who wants to be a ballet dancer, her BFF Jesse, and their parents. The parent stuff is just all "HEY CAN JESSE COME TO MELINDA'S HOUSE TODAY" and "OH THANK YOU FOR LETTING JESSE COME TO MELINDA'S HOUSE TODAY". Also a bunch of the letters are in different "handwritings" and fonts, so it's very Babysitters Club, though no one has the brilliance to dot their i's with hearts.

So Jesse's parents get divorced, so he has to move away to California! Oh noes! Jesse and Melinda keep writing though. Melinda gets a new neighbor, Bailey, who is her age but totes BOY-CRAZY. Also Bailey writes notes that are nothing but realistic:

When we walk home today, let's stop off at the Jiffy Store and buy some teen magazines so we can figure out what's hot this fall.

I freaking hate Bailey. The ONLY good thing about Bailey is that she has a cat who has kittens, and Melinda gets to keep one of the kittens. The kitten is white with a black mask on its face, so they call it Zorita. Whenever Zorita is mentioned, especially in the context of purring, I totally fall apart, because if there's anything I love it's a purring kitten. Aw, Zorita! I'm sorry you got stuck in this book, sweet fictional kitty.

So even IM conversations are preserved in this book. I'm really dirty-minded because this scene where, via IM, Melinda introduces Bailey and Jesse, made me laugh and laugh:

Bailey> Hi, Jesse. This is Bailey. I'm over at Melinda's house and we're IMing you together.
Jesse> Hi, Bailey. Melinda says you play the flute.

Yeeeeahhh, the skin flute, maybe. Shut up, Jesse, that's the weirdest way to say hello EVER.

So Melinda is, of course, a superfantastical dancer who gets to study at special summer programs and such. I wish I hadn't just read those recaps of Petals on the Wind because I need to be reprogrammed from thinking ballet is all about rape and getting punched in the face and car accidents and suicide. I promise you guys that none of those things are found in this book, which is maybe too bad because at least then this book wouldn't be so friggin' boring.

So Melinda writes herself a pep talk in her own diary, which is basically fantastic:

Stop it, Melinda!!! (Sometimes I have to be strict with myself.) Just go and dance and learn!

I am soooo writing that to myself anytime I get down, you guys.

Anyways, while Melinda is off at the special dance program, she writes all about the bruises on her legs. Since this is taking place in the Lurleneverse (and because I read the back cover copy), we all know what that means! (I have Lurlene to thank for my freaking out as a kid whenever I got a nasty bruise on my leg. And considering I'm extremely uncoordinated as well as pale as a friggin' vampire, this happened fairly often.)

Bailey writes a letter to Melinda in the meantime, chock full of her boy exploits:

Inside [the movie theater] it was practically empty and the theater was totally dark, and then Pete slid his arm around me and the next thing I knew he was KISSING me! Wow, I thought my nail polish would melt. It was SO hot! (And I don't mean the temperature.)

I think my I.Q. just dropped a few points.

So, yeah, bad news is to come: Melinda has leukemia! We find this out from the freaking LAB RESULTS printed here. This book is so friggin' bizarre, seriously. WHYYYY can't it just be a normal book?

It's a Lurlene book, so normal drill: chemo with lots and lots of details. Melinda shares this with her journal:

It looks like I won't be shaving my legs for a long, long time. "Chemo hair loss" means more than saying goodbye to the hair on top of my head. My eyebrows are gone and so are my eyelashes (not to mention body hair in very private places!).

A) Armpits are "very private"? B) I really could have gone my whole life without pubic hair being brought up in the Lurleneverse.

The chemo doesn't do the trick at first, so doctors try out some super high-dose fantastical chemo on Melinda. It clears that cancer right up, woo hooooo!! What the doctors don't tell her parents is that she can never have this high dose again since it is so effin' potent. But, I mean, c'mon, you guys, she won't get sick again, will she? Oh, crap, this isn't the real world, this is the LURLENEVERSE. Melinda, there is an awful lot of book left; I am quite concerned about your fate.

For Melinda's birthday, she asks for Jesse to fly out and see her. So he does, and she spends his whole trip feelin' all butterfly-y for him. She hates that she's all post-chemo and ugly, but at the end of the trip he still kisses her. Aw, Jesse! You're a good kid. Too bad you're stuck in this craptastic book.

Melinda goes back to school, and works at getting back to the same level of proficiency in ballet she'd achieved before her cancer. Jesse visits again, and this time Melinda's looking cute, and Bailey helps the two kids get some time alone together. Whatever, they're cute, but I keep checking how many pages are ahead of us, and I feel this is doooooomed.

I'm right! The cancer is back! (Yeah, of course we find out via lab reports again. Also, seriously, kids are expected to read friggin' lab reports? Weeeeeird.) And it's way worse than ever, especially with that high-dose chemo off-limits this time. The only possibility is a bone marrow transplant. Luckily, Melinda's mom is a good match! Everyone rallies around Melinda, and Jesse flies out again to see her.

Melinda gets sick right away with viral meningitis! Suuuuuck! After reading accounts by both Melinda's mom and Jesse about how very sick Melinda is, we get the AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION BY DR. LEIGH NEELY, ONCOLOGIST, FOR INSERTION INTO MEDICAL FILE OF MELINDA SKYE who, ya know, gives all the death details. Sorry, Melinda, but I kind of figured. Also, seriously, please explain this book to me! Is it a morbid scrapbook? How were all these things gathered? AGH.

There were a few random occasions where they'd just have a page or two of normal narrative/dialogue, but they were few and far between. Also, midway through the book, Jesse is referred to for several pages as "Jessie". Luckily I figured it out and didn't think a new character had been introduced.

The book ends with letters Melinda wrote to her parents and to Jesse that she had Bailey leave for them in the case of her death. Hmmm, Melinda must have known about her place in the Lurleneverse! Then Jesse emails Bailey to get help putting a letter in Melinda's hand at the wake, and Bailey promises to help him.

You guys want the letter? Sure, I can do that!:

It may be a lifetime before I see you again on the far side of time. Wait for me. Look for me. Please don't forget me, Melinda Skye, because one day I will come to you. I will come.

Jesse Rose

WHAAAAAT! That is the weirdest letter to give your dead girlfriend EVER. CONSTANT VIGILANCE, MELINDA-IN-HEAVEN, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Don't ever run out of soda, or Somewhere Between Life and Death

Somewhere Between Life and Death (published 1990) is very special, not only because this blog is its namesake, but because one of the main characters is named Amy! AW YEAH.

Back in the day, this book was all on its own:


Um, what the hell is the thing to the left of that girl's face? Is it the floating face of her comatose sister? If so, why does it look more like a puppet wearing a cheap wig? I mean, I've never seen anyone in a coma except on some episode of Chicago Hope; is that how they look?

Anyways, now it's being packaged with its sequel in one convenient volume, the End of Forever!:



Listen, people, my posts are long enough as it is; I'll recap the second book later. Hopefully you can hold your horses in the meantime. Also, this cover makes the book like a normal modern YA book. Like, I'd pick this up, right? I mean, if not for the glaring LURLENE McDANIEL branding across the top.

This is another book I read as a kid, and I remember liking it, though not as much as all the cancer books. To be fair, I'm not sure there's anything I liked more back then than a good cancer book. Coma books hardly stood a chance!

Oops, did I spoil this one for you? Well, here's what the publisher wants to tell you about it:

The celebration isn't supposed to end in tragedy. The night of their high-school drama group's cast party starts out as fun for sisters Amy and Erin.

Their lives come crashing down when Amy takes the car to get more food and has a horrible accident. Erin and her family pray for Amy to awaken from her coma. But as the monitor bleeps and the respirator hisses, Amy lies somewhere between life and death.

Erin and her parents must find the courage to accept the fact that Amy's life-support system will never bring her back. When she dies, can the family give some meaning to her senseless death? Can Amy's dying become the hope for someone else's living?

It is kind of creepy reading a book about a girl with your name who's in a freaking coma!... especially because I was totally that kid who read about a disease/condition and was convinced I had it too. That said, there's not much danger of fearing you're in a coma when you're actually not, so this book was fairly safe.

(Other safe books include those about kids BORN with conditions! Though sometimes, to be honest, I'd worry maybe doctors had just missed my lifelong condition for thirteen years. YOU NEVER KNOW.)

Anyways, of course since this book features siblings, protagonist Erin and her younger sister Amy, we're treated to all the deets of their oppositeness:

Amy flounced on the bed, sending pillows and clothes flying. "One of us is neat and orderly, and one of us isn't." She smiled innocently.

"It's nothing to brag about, you know."

Amy jumped off the bed and hauled Erin next to her in the mirror. "Look at us, Erin. You're tall, blonde, and graceful, and I'm--well--short, round, and fully packed." [FULLY PACKED??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?] She patted her hips. [OH MY GOD THAT ISN'T HELPING MATTERS.]

Erin tried not to smile. "What's your point?"

"We're different, that's all. You got the looks, talent, and brains, and I got"--Amy tousled her shoulder-length curly dark hair--"dandruff." [EW GROSS AMY.]

Obviously, this is literature of subtlety. Also I'm surprised Amy didn't mention she looks like a floating dollhead. Oh, wait, is that just post-coma? Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So Erin is a dancer and Amy is an actress (if Lurlene was really going for the polar opposites thing, I would have thought she'd make Erin an aspiring accountant or something, but I guess that'd eff up a bunch of plot points). Amy also volunteers as a clown to cheer up sick kids, and she has a superfantastically hot boyfriend who Erin secretly lusts after. We're probably supposed to help Erin serve some haterade to Amy, because she's too loud and never on time and always blowing off her responsibilities, but, honestly, she sounds like a freaking blast. (Or maybe I'm just showing solidarity with curvy girls named Amy who are way too loud and rarely on time for work.)

So Amy and Erin are working on this performance piece where Amy monologues, Erin dances, and Erin's BFF Shara sings. I don't quite get it, but I have a marketing degree, so take that as you will. Whatever, the whole point is these ladies are all super at what they do! Good work, ladies. I am not good at ANY of those things (okay, I can rock a badass karaoke, but let's be realistic here) so of course I totes envy them. Don't we all!

The performance is a big freaking smash hit (isn't that always the way? smash hit or disaster, nothing in between) and everyone parties it up at the cast party afterwards. WITH SODAS YOU GUYS NOT BEERS THESE ARE GOOD KIDS. They party it up SO MUCH that they RUN OUT of soda OH NOES. Erin is all set to go out and get more, but Amy, who JUST GOT HER LICENSE, begggggggs to go.

Do you guys remember those days? Man, back when I was sixteen, there was nothing I didn't want to drive to. You could have said "Hey, Ames, there's a big line of killer bees flying up from Mexico" and I would have DRIVEN TO THEM because HELLO I just got my license! And nowadays I do things like calling for delivery because driving five minutes to pick up a burger is waaaaay too much work.

Anyways, Erin's all MISS RESPONSIBLE and doesn't see why Amy should go, because:

1. It's Erin's car.
2. It's RAINING out.
3. Amy is NOT an experienced driver.
4. Erin is a big ol' stick in the mud who doesn't want anyone else doing ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE FUN FOR THEM.

But finally, as always, Erin relents, and Amy is off on her merry way to get more soda. YAY SODA! You guys, you know I'm getting old and lame, because sometimes all I really do want at a party is a nice can of soda.

The party, uh, rages on into the night, and guess who shows up? AMY'S HOT BOYFRIEND. Apparently he was just going to pick her up awhile into the party; Erin is soooo pissed about this. Listen, Erin, if you had the option of being the last one to leave a party or cuttin' loose with the hottest boy in school, what would you do? Also, I'm sorry, I hate staying for a whole party. Get there, hang out for awhile, mingle, LEAVE. Geez, Erin, this is not awful of Amy.

Amy doesn't return in a timely manner though! YOU GUYS I SAW THE COVER OF THE BOOK SO I'M THINKING THINGS AREN'T GONNA TURN OUT WELL. Of course no one worries at first because, c'mon, it's Amy, she's never on time. But the time ticks by, and people get a little panicky. AND THEY SHOULD BECAUSE:

A blast of wind and rain blew in with a short, plump woman. [Uh, that's basically the best sentence I've read in forever. I wish every time I entered a room that I'd bring in a blast of wind and rain. Could that be my superpower? AWESOME.]

Erin blinked. "Inez!" she cried, recognizing her mother's sales assistant from the boutique. [Oh, yeah, Erin and Amy's mom owns a clothing boutique; this is more important in the next book. I'm glad she has a full-time job though! Of course, it's a total LADY job. Whatever. This is an improvement.] "What are you doing here?"

Inez wrung her hands and grabbed Erin by the forearms. She was crying. "Erin, there's been an accident."

"Mom and Dad?" Erin almost gagged. ["Gagged"? That is a weird-ass reaction. Also, hello, Erin, at this point haven't you been freaking out about, let's see, A) the weather, B) Amy's lack of driving experience, and C) the fact that Amy's been gone forfuckingever at this point? And yet you think this is about YOUR PARENTS?]

"They're at County's emergency room. It's Amy, Erin. Amy's been in a terrible wreck."

So things really don't look good for Amy. This book isn't too big on the medical fetishism but they do explain the Glasgow test, which is how they measure status in coma patients:

"What's a Glasgow test?"

Ellie showed Erin the paper with numbers neatly written in small boxes. "It's a standard for measuring a comatose patient's progress."

"Progress? But she never moves."

Ellie smiled. "Let me explain. We take temperature, pulse, and blood pressure. We check respiration -- in Amy's case she's on a ventilator -- and we do a few neurological tests and grade her on a scale."

"Like what?"

"For instance, we chart whether or not her eyes open. 'Spontaneously' equals a four, while 'none' equals a one." Ellie pointed to the bottom of the chart where the criteria was printed. "On 'Verbal Response' -- you know, whether she reacts when you talk to her -- there's a scale of one to five, with five being 'oriented' and meaning fully conscious, and one meaning 'no response'. For 'Motor Response' a five means she 'obeys commands', and a one means 'no response'."

Oh, man, that is the Lurlene McDaniel I loved! MY MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY, LET ME SHOW YOU IT. Always a relief to get some hardcore medical textbook info out of a young adult novel. Hello, why else did I read these back then?

(Sadly, I am not really kidding.)

So it goes on for a bit with Amy still in the coma, and Erin hanging around the hospital just, ya know, waaaaaaaiting. For anyone who's ever had a family member in the hospital, this part is actually pretty realistic; there's more waiting and stressing and worrying and hoping and bargaining than actual, you know, medical stuff.

But, of course, while waiting in the ICU waiting room Erin has this AMAZING encounter!:

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you," the girl said. "I'm Beth Clark, and I saw you come in the other night."

Erin mumbled a self-conscious greeting and wished Beth would go away.

"Why are you here?" Beth asked.

Erin told her then realized that it was only fair to ask, "And why are you here?"

Beth stared off in the distance. "It's my mother." Her gaze found Erin's again. "She's dying, and her only hope is if somebody else dies before she does."

That is the CHAPTER END PEOPLE. How amazing is that?

In case you were thinking Beth's mom's life depends on murder or something, it turns out she actually just needs a kidney transplant. That makes more sense, though it's less interesting. Wait, is this FORESHADOWING???

So Travis, the hot boyfriend, stops by to see Amy but of course, being a normal kid, freaks out a bit and can't take it. He runs off and won't return. Erin is pisssssssssed. The thing is, I'm with both of them. I doubt that in high school I would have handled this particularly well, but in Erin's shoes I wouldn't have thought well of Travis at all. Yeah, realism again! This book is actually decent with that.

So Amy had a clown gig scheduled to cheer up sick kids, and Erin decides to be a good sister and follow through with it. Of course she doesn't know what she's doing, but she gets dressed in Amy's clown clothes and clown makeup and shows up. There she meets a dude clown named David (this is SUPER IMPORTANT FOR NEXT TIME GUYS REMEMBER THIS) and they do a great job!!! The clown stuff is kind of cringe-worthy-cheesy, but only because I always think that of clown stuff. I mean, is there an adult who doesn't? Whatever, it's cute, Erin's out of her comfort zone for a good reason, and David is sweet and good with kids, two qualities I tend to like in boys.

Amy is getting worse, not better, and everyone's pretty mopey about it. I don't blame them! It totally sucks. But Beth's mom lucks out because SOMEONE DIES so she gets a kidney AW YEAH. But that is the ONLY good news in the Lurleneverse. An organ donation organization rep shows up to talk to Erin and fam about taking Amy off of life support and donating her organs.

Guess who's not cool with this?

"Retrieve?" Erin said the word bitterly. "Is that what you call killing somebody so you can take their organs?"

I don't know how I feel about this. I mean, I get the whole point of having Beth in the book is so Erin learns how freaking AWESOME organ donation is. So how realistic is it that now she's all "OH HELLLLL NO THAT'S DISGUSTING YOU BEASTS"? Then again, I give her some leeway because she is really just now really understanding that Amy isn't coming back, isn't getting better, isn't doing anything but lying there hooked up to machines forever. I guess I just wish Lurlene would have dwelt more on the "I THINK AMY IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE FINE" aspect than "YOU AWWWWWFUL BODY-SNATCHERS!!!!!" because I don't think it fits with what the book's been leading up to.

On top of all this, Erin discovers hot Travis is taking ANOTHER GIRL to the big dance. Ugghhhh, this kind of makes me hate on you, Travis, even though I totes get it. If you're ready to move on, great, but maybe not so publicly?

Erin handles it reaaaally badly:

While she waited, she carefully plotted her strategy. Travis lived in a fine old house on Bayshore Drive. When he pulled into his driveway, she'd call to him and make him cross to the bay side of the street, where she'd confront him. They'd be alone, and she'd say everything that was on her mind. He was a louse and a creep, and she'd make him pay for abandoning Amy.

When his headlights turned into the driveway, her mouth went dry, but the hard, cold knot of anger gave her the courage to call to him. Travis hesitated, so she called again, then watched as he jogged hesitantly across the deserted avenue.

"Erin?" he asked, coming closer. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Now? It's one in the morning. How long have you been waiting?"

"Never mind. Did you have a good time at the dance?" Her question was laced with acid.

. . .

"You don't know, do you? If you'd been up to see her, you'd know that yesterday they declared her brain dead."

For an instant he looked as if he might be sick, and Erin stepped back, rubbing her arms and feeling confused. It was the reaction she'd wanted, wasn't it? Hadn't she come to hurt him? He said, "I--I didn't know."

"Well, with your big date with Cindy and all, I can see how it might have slipped by you." She reached inside her jacket and extracted the teddy bear [he'd given Amy previously]. "Here's a little something I thought you'd like to have back," she said, holding the bear toward him. "Maybe Cindy would want it."

Travis knocked the bear from her hand, then turned and braced his hands on the cement railing. "You've got a mean mouth, Erin." [OH MY GOD A MEAN MOUTH I TOTALLY WANT TO SAY THIS TO SOMEONE NOW! Okay, let's be honest: I want someone to say this to me. New goal, yay!]

She wanted to leave him alone to think about how he'd wronged her sister, but her feet suddenly felt like lead weights. "I told them that they weren't going to cut up my sister and give her away. I said that I didn't care what their stupid tests showed, I wasn't giving up on my sister." She paused. "Like some people have."

The thing is, this is totally the kind of crazy-ass mentally-unhinged thing I would do. OH MY GOD DID I JUST RELATE TO A LURLENE McDANIEL CHARACTER?

Luckily at this point Erin's parents help her to realize what's going on with Amy, for real, and they come to the mutual decision to remove Amy from life support and donate her organs. There's a nice memorial ceremony for Amy, and everyone's as peaceful as they could be about it.

And while I'd hardly call this a literary wonder, I must say that I didn't hate this book. It's sort of boring in stretches, and the dialogue makes me criiiiiiiiinge, but I related to both Amy AND Erin, and no one suggested anything like WELL MAYBE IF AMY AND ERIN'S MOM DIDN'T HAVE A JOB AMY WOULD NEVER HAVE DIIIIIED, and when the protagonist is being a brat, she's called out on it and learns her lesson. I can't believe I'm saying this but... thumbs up?